Will Smith has revealed that he had suicidal thoughts when he was 13.
In his new memoir, Will, the Bad Boys star confessed that he contemplated suicide after his mother, who suffered physical abuse from his father, left home.
Smith writes that his mother’s departure left him feeling lonely and guilty.
The Men in Black actor wrote of his mother leaving: “She’d had enough. She went to work the next morning and didn’t come home. She didn’t go far – just a few blocks to (grandmother) Gigi’s house – but the message was clear: She was done.”
Smith added: “I thought about pills; I knew where a boy had lost his legs on the train tracks; I had seen people cut their wrists in a bathtub on TV.”
Elsewhere in the book, Smith discusses how he witnessed his father beat his mother during his childhood: “I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.”
He also writes how his life has been defined by witnessing his father abuse his mother: “There has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her in the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a coward.”
As a result of the abuse, Smith said it led to him fantasising about killing his father: “As a child I’d always told myself that I would one day avenge my mother. That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him.”
Will is out today (9 November) via Penguin RandomHouse.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, The Samaritans offers support; you can speak to someone for free over the phone, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email [email protected], or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you can call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247, or visit their website here.